martes, 18 de septiembre de 2007

VENDO O PERMUTO VESICULA

La selección natural, es el término con el que Darwin se refirió al proceso mediante el cual las especies van progresando lentamente hasta desarrollar sus mejores atributos. Las jirafas tienen el cuello largo, producto de que un día nació una con el cuello un toque más largo que las demás y eso se fue pasando de generación en generación...

Entiendo que lo mismo va a pasar con los seres humanos, con lo cual dentro de una cantidad x de años (tal vez 200, tal vez 1000), los hombres van a tener algunas particularidades distintas a las que tenemos hoy en día.
En exclusiva, para los lectores de estos reflexiones, un adelanto del hombre del futuro:

  • Apéndice: chau. Nadie sabe para qué sirve, todos saben que se puede sacar y el mundo sigue adelante
  • Vesícula: chau. Algunos saben para qué sirve, pero se puede sacar y las cosas siguen igual.
  • Dedo meñique de mano izquierda: el de la derecha a veces da una mano con las teclas que queda medio lejos, pero el de la izquierda, no sirva para nada. Chau.
  • Cejas más finitas: nunca conocí a nadie que se quiera agregar cejas. Todo el mundo se las quiere depilar para tenerlas más finitas. Entonces, por qué no venir de fábrica con cejas finitas?
  • Más huesos con nombres graciosos, que se sumen a "homóplato", "clavícula", "tibia", "radio". No sabría decirles donde van a estar, pero seguro que van a venir.
  • Pies con menos dedos. Si igual se separan solo en 2: el gordo por un lado y todos los demás por otro (o acaso aluguien puede levantar solo el tercer dedo del pie sin levantar los otros...? quiero fotos). Solo se los puede individualizar a la hora de pasar corriendo al lado de un mueble y engancharse y hacerse mierda solamente el chiquito.
  • Pelo en el pecho: eso va a venir de fábrica para todos, hombres y niños. No hay nada más sexy que un hombre con pelos en el pecho, eso lo sabemos todos...

Y para los que estaban preocupados por las que acaso son nuestras mejores virtudes, aquello que nos diferencia del resto de los animales... a no preocupar: vamos a poder seguir tirándonos peditos y sacándonos los mocos con la misma facilidad que hasta ahora !

51 comentarios:

Quito dijo...

lo del dedo chiquito de la mano izquierda no te lo permito... sirve, y de mucho, para tocar la guitarra (yo no lo uso demasiado porque todavía no sé tocar la guitarra casi nada... pero he visto a gente que sabe...)

y te digo otra... allá en mis pagos (esto es muy gauchesco) había una mina que tenía pelos entre las tetas y le decíamos "la bigotuda"... esto, también se va a hacer extensivo a todas las mujeres del futuro?
aclaración: los pelos se los vimos en la pileta de un club al que íbamos... yo nunca me arranqué un pelo de entre los dientes por chupar una teta...

slts.

Diego dijo...

Lo del apéndice, coincido.
Lo de la vesícula, también.
Es interesante la opinión de Quito sobre el dedo meñique, aunque agregaría que lo que hace virtuoso a esa gente que sabe no es el dedo en cuestión... De hecho, si el tema es que la selección natural no nos saque ese dedo pues mucha gente lo bien utiliza, diría que mucha gente que opina así, consideraría mucho más virtuoso al que sabe y tiene un dedo menos ... (Alguna vez escuché la historia de un pianista que había sido secuestrado y mientras estaba en cautiverio, quienes lo “cuidaban” le quebraron “amablemente” todas sus falanges... Este secuestro tuvo un final feliz en el sentido que el pianista luego de un tiempo pudo volver con los suyos. Sin embargo, hasta mucho tiempo después, no se supo este “pequeño” incidente. Cuando le preguntaron el porqué del “ocultamiento” el pianista contestó: “No quería dudar de los aplausos..”). En fin... la cantidad de manchas no hacen al tigre.
Lo de las cejas es verdad!!! Qué cosa fea es ver a alguien que se las acaba de depilar... ni decir de ver la escena de una mujer en algún medio de transporte, arrancándoselos uno a uno.(Y encima no puedo dejar de observar cómo se auto flagelan)
Lo de los huesos, puede ser... pero no me resultó gracioso ninguno de los nombres.
He conocido una persona que luego de un pequeño accidente, perdió ese tercer dedo del pie del que hablás (sólo ese dedo!). Y sabés qué!... cuando caminaba se balanceaba de una manera diferente a la que lo hacía antes del accidente. Esto que significa: significa que rengueaba... No te digo uh!!! Mirá cómo renguea!... pero rengueaba. Entonces deducimos (y digo deducimos porque fuimos varios los que intentamos darle una explicación científica a la cuestión) que esos dedos “inútiles” cumplen la función de... cómo decirlo.... vieron el plomo que se le pone a las ruedas de los autos para balancearlos... bueno, eso. Cumplen la función de balanceo, de darle algo de armonía a nuestro andar - este es un tema interesante pues mucha gente que conozco tiene todos los dedos y parece que se desarma al caminar.. pero será tema para otro momento).
Tal vez, debamos pensar en que la selección natural debería proteger más al dedo chiquito que tanto duele al golpearlo contra la mesita ratona. Ponerle una especie de caparazón, como el de las tortugas, por ejemplo.
Por último, lo del pelo en el pecho es algo tendencioso de tu parte Leo. Todos los que te conocemos sabemos que viniste a este mundo con polera y sostenés lo de la selección natural por el sólo hecho de aliviar esos chistes que te hicieron a lo largo de toda tu vida. Y digo toda porque hay versiones que naciste así (es imposible te haya crecido tanto pelo en sólo 25 años)...
(Quito: Qué gente rara que hay por tus pagos! No los habrá afectado la radiación... la mina con pelos en el pecho... vos con tus “problemitas”... bah! Habría que fijarse.)
Una abrazo a todos.
Paz y larga vida!
DAM.

Anónimo dijo...

No se puede adelantar la evolución?? No aguanto mas los dedos de mis pies, son un problema. Por culpa de ellos, dejo de usar zapatos y otras cosas que me gustarían pero que ellos no me lo permiten.
Encima son horribles, no solo los mios, los de todos, es a la parte del cuerpo que no le encuentro sensualidad para nada.
Por último quiero dejar esta reflexión: se puede considerar a la cirugía plástica como un empuje, un ascelerador de la evolución?? No se, los dejo pensando... hasta la próxima!
Jesi

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